It is 3:32 am and the urge to kill is rising again. Will holding a pillow over his head and smothering him, stop the sounds once and forever….

This thought sounds familiar? If you live with a snorer, I’m sure it sounds familiar.

I too have experienced the horrors of living with a snorer. And the urge to kill my husband Casey crossed my mind many a times when I was awake at wee hours of morning due to his snoring.

Snoring steadily kept ruining my relationship with Casey.

It was a living nightmare, during days I was exhausted beyond limit, waiting to hit the bed to get some rest. And come night time, Casey’s snoring would chase away all my sleep.

While his snoring kept me awake, lot of ideas crossed my mind:

Sleeping on couch

Separate Bedrooms (25% of snorers have confessed to sleeping separately from their partners)



Snoring Ruining my Relationship

I know I’m not alone in having these thoughts. If you live with a snorer, you will sympathize with my plight.

Across world snoring is ruining relationships, leading people to take desperate measures to get some good night’s sleep.

To quote some facts:

  • 25% Americans snore!
  • Out of these 24% are sleeping in separate beds
  • 2 in 5 couple admit that snoring is affecting their sex life negatively
  • 60% people agreed that lack of sleep is ruining their relationship with family and friends.

That’s the reality of snoring. It’s a silent (pun intended) killer, of relationships.

What’s more?

Snoring doesn’t only kill your relationship with your partner. It deteriorate the quality of your life. It affects all the spheres of your life by causing chronic sleep deprivation.


Sleep Deprivation causes:

  • Memory Loss ( Forgot your keys again, blame the snoring)
  • Poor judgment (You could cause an accident while driving)
  • Reduced Cognitive Functioning ( It making you dumber)
  • Heart Disease (Yes snoring could give you a heart attack!)
  • High blood pressure (The urge to kill, could be contributing to this)
  • Loss of sex drive (Who wants to have sex with a jackhammer!)
  • Depression (When Monday morning blues become everyday norm)
  • Premature Aging – (Yes those grays can be blamed onto snoring)
  • Weight Gain – (Snoring is adding the pounds to you scale)
  • Worsening Existing Medical Condition – (Asthma, Diabetes, B.P you name is, anything can be worsened by snoring)
  • Shortened life span – (Did we say SNORING KILLS!)

As the spouse/partner of the snorer you might be tempted to wave this list under their nose and inform them of how dangerous their snoring is for you.

But Wait:

This list applies to them to. All these problems are caused both to the snorer and their partner.

Snoring disrupts deep restful sleeping, and makes the snorer also prone to all the above problems.

So how can you save your relationship?


Let’s understand the problem.

Why do they snore?

Snoring sounds is produced as the soft tissue inside the mouth and throat vibrates. This vibration occurs because the airway (passage through which air is breathed in) is being partially or fully obstructed.

When snorer breath in air, the air is forced around this obstruction and this leads to the vibration and resulting snoring sound.

What causes the obstruction?

Lots of stuff can cause this.

  • Blocked nose
  • Excess weight in neck
  • Deviated Septum
  • Jaw structure
  • For detailed list read – Why do People snore


The Solution

First: Communicate

  • Record the snoring sound, with video if possible and play it back to the snorer to help them get an idea of what they are up to at night
  • If required play this recording right at the bedtime and challenge the snorer to go to sleep with the sound in background
  • Find a good relaxed time to talk to your partner about his/her snoring. Do this in private preferably cuddling up or holding hands. Physical touch goes a long way in diffusing any tension your partner might feel when you bring up snoring.
  • Be sensitive and understanding. Do not accuse your partner. Discuss and make them understand how snoring is affecting you and your relationship. Explain them you both are in this together, snoring does not make you love them any less.
  • If you feel up to it, discuss the probable causes of snoring. Or if it feels too much then you could direct your partner to read up more about snoring on sites like this, so that they can read up themselves. (hit the share button on your left and send this post to them right now.)
  • Snoring is serious problem, but do not make your partner feel guilty about it, because they are most likely to get defensive about it then. Instead approach it in a more light hearted manner, so as to give them a chance to work on the problem.
  • Be patient, sometimes one conversation alone won’t make a difference. You might need to bring up this issue a couple of times, before your partner understands the seriousness of the matter.
  • If inspite of keeping patience and being understanding; your partner is not taking any measures to address the snoring, then its best to directly confront them, and take them to a doctor for appointment to get their snoring checked.

Second: Find a Cure

Third: Help

  • Get them a body pillow to help them sleep on side. Sleeping on side is the most common and widely effective cure to snoring.
  • Help them lose weight, if being overweight is the cause of their snoring. You can add after dinner walks to your schedule. This will not only help the snorer lose weight, but also give you some precious time together and help you both unwind after a tiring day.
  • Encourage them to practice throat exercises for snoring to tone those floppy muscles and reduce the chances of snoring.
  • If allergens are causing the snoring by blocking the nose, then invest in a professional cleaning service once to get your house cleaned thoroughly, in all nooks ad crevices and eliminate all allergens. Fungus and mold are one of the leading causes of blocked nose. A through professional cleaning should help you get rid of them.

Take the snoring heads on and tackle it together. Its s physical condition. The snorer has nothing to feel ashamed of, and you should not attack them for the snoring. Snorer is not intentionally making your nights miserable, so be rational and calm. And get the help you need to tackle the snoring problem.

Is snoring ruining your relationship too? Do leave your comments below.

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